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Shiner First United Methodist Church

10 Commandments of Motordom

Clarence shared with us an article entitled “The Ten Commandments of Motordom” by Ira L. Wood, written in 1927.

Here they are:

  1. Thou shalt not envy thy neighbor’s car, lest thine own become offended and stall with thee upon the highway.
  2. Thous shalt not use profane langueage when changing tires, lest thy wife reprove thee and speak not unto thee for many days.
  3. Thou shalt not argue with an officer, but answer him aye and nay, lest evil befall thee and cause thee the loss of many shekel.
  4. Thou shalt not race a train to a crossing, lest thy spirit leave thee and thy body be taken to a morgue.
  5. Thou shalt not hog the road, lest he that is of quick temper bend the fenders of thy car and blacken thine eyes, and make thee the laughing stock of thy neighbor.
  6. Thou shalt not speed, neighter shalt thou run thy car with its cut out open, lest the minions of the law overtake thee and put thee withina a calaboose, and feed thee upon bread and water for the remaining days of thy life.
  7. Thou shalt not signal right and turn to the left, lest pain and suffering befall thee and thy body become a carving block for the physicians.
  8. Thou shalt not draw up to a curb and toot thy horn unseemingly neither for thy wife or thy neighbor’s wife, nor for his daughter or the handmaiden that dwelleth within his gates, lest they thta loveth peace and quiet fall upon thee and slay thee.
  9. Keep thine eyes on the curves of the road, and not upon the curves of the flapper who is beside thee or who walketh upon the highway, lest a tree or a pole arise and smite thee and utterly destroy thee and thy car forever.
  10. Honour thy car and its engine and give unto them the care and attention that they need, that thy days in the land of motoring may be many and full of happiness.

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